We are all so harsh on ourselves. I’ll be the first one to admit I struggle with constant negative mental chatter, directed at myself and others. It’s easy to be critical and dismissive, and stay living in that shadow waiting for your “someday” self.
Recently I heard Dr. Sarah Gottfried and Cynthia Pasquella both refer to this quote from Dr. Jen Landa:
When resentment is high, self-care is low. – Dr. Jen Landa
Think about that. It makes —-SO—-MUCH—-SENSE. You fly through your day resenting everyone you have to talk to, and everything that you have to do, and just hating life and waiting for the day to be over so you can start the hamster wheel all over again tomorrow.
No one is going to step in and stop the madness for you; you have to do it for yourself.
And here’s where SELF-CARE comes in. It’s a simple concept based on small gestures that you make toward yourself. It’s like your right-now self being considerate toward your future-self. Your partner and family and friends can support and take care of you to a certain extent, but there are certain things you can really only do for yourself.
And those things can be pretty fundamental.
Only you are going to make sure you eat enough good nutritious food, drink enough water, get some movement into your day, get to sleep on time. These are things we have to be responsible for as adults, but too often these hugely important priorities get pushed aside by all the other “STUFF” flying around in our day.
Then there are the other “less vital” things that can still have a huge impact on how you feel and behave. Only you are going to go get that haircut that is going to score compliments and put you in a great mood. Only you can decide to take 7 minutes in the evening and take a lovely lavender bath. No one else is going to tell you do these things, or help you make the time for these things.
You have the power to make every day a good day
It’s incredible how showing your future-self a little love with small gestures can completely change whether today is another humdrum-normal-crappy-whirlwind day, or a sparkly-shiny-fun-happy day.
So how to take better care of and show love toward yourself?
I found this lovely, heartfelt graphic created by Lucille Zimmerman on Pinterest. I don’t know much about her practice but I really like what she is sharing.
Print this out and post it somewhere, or keep it on your phone to refer to, or write down the points in your notebook. Make sure you do at least one of these things EVERY DAY. Show yourself a little love, and resentment, stress and negativity will have less and less power over you and your day.
Please share what works for you
How do you show yourself love? How do you ensure you make time for self-care in a busy day? Please leave a comment so that we can all help each other out! I know a lot of people struggle with this…how have you found success?
Thanks Liivi. I needed to read this today. It’s nuts that we struggle to be kind to ourselves….i want it to be easy to be kind. We seem to live in a world where its too easy and acceptable to be mean to ourselves and others. For me for self care i try to foam roll my sore spots everyday. The sore spots need lots of TLC, they are working hard everyday…my shoulders, my arms, my legs…it gives me time to tune in to them and be grateful for what my body can do. :-)
Thanks for commenting Sinead, I feel the exact same way, striving to a place where it’s effortless to be kind with myself and others. Even just recognizing that and acknowledging it to someone else I think is huge.